How To Never Let Outside Circumstances Dictate How You Feel | School of Becoming

You have the power to stay centered, emotionally secure, and make powerful progress during any situation in your life. 

This is the truth: the power of how to respond to what you experience is in your hands. 

Well actually… it’s in your mind

It’s the inner mindset work I call Mind Magic™, and I will show three steps for how to start using it today. Because we, as individuals and a community, must work on this right now. 

This global pandemic we’re experiencing is like a personal growth retreat none of us asked for. Nonetheless it is happening, and you’re not alone if you’ve felt your confidence falter. In fact, 53% of respondents rated the impact of the COVID-19 on their anxiety and stress levels as moderate to severe.

This hurts my heart, because I know it does not have to be this way.


My client Danielle is gorgeous proof that you can choose how to respond to what’s happening around you. When Danielle and I started working together she was going through a divorce — the mental mindfuck of a lifetime for many people, including Danielle. She had been in and out of psychotherapy for decades. She was relying on Xanax every day to manage her anxiety. 

As we worked together, as Danielle applied the practices of Mind Magic™ to realize her inner power and agency, everything changed. She said it did more for her energy, lifestyle and confidence than therapy ever did. She doesn’t take Xanax anymore, because she doesn’t need it. 

And later, when Danielle was laid off due to a company restructure, she was a completely new woman. Instead of doing what old-her would have done — feeling and acting like a victim of her circumstances, questioning her self-worth, taking a Xanax — she chose her response and today has started three epically successful new businesses in New York City.


As Danielle perfectly illustrates, the most fundamental lesson of inner mindset work is this:

There is no external circumstance that is holding you back. The outside world is not the reason you’re stuck wishing, hoping, and wanting. Your partner, kids, mother, mother-in-law, are not the reason. Your to-do list, dirty laundry, current weight, age are not the reason. It’s not because your industry is noisy, or you don’t have time, or because your company is stuck in the past.

The only thing holding you back is you. 

You are your problem. 

…And you are your solution.


And when you realize this fundamental truth on a deep level and LIVE this truth daily, everything changes. Everything around you becomes a playground for your delight and your success. 

The power to stay centered, emotionally secure, and calm is in your mind. YOU have the agency to never allow the outside to create your inner experience, no matter how unfamiliar and outlandish what’s going on around you may feel. Your inner power — which will never let you down and never disappear, by the way — is your ability to choose your experience. 

Life is the ultimate choose-your-own-adventure. And since none of us are getting out of it alive, why not choose the most epic adventure? Why not choose the one that feels the best?

You can start living this truth right now. The first steps of inner mindset work are simple and available to you in every moment.

In fact, why not try them right now? Here’s what you need to do:

  • 1. Pause and Notice. Put your hand on your heart, and take a deep breath. Allow yourself to recognize — to really notice — how many choices you have right now, doing this exercise being one of them.
  • 2. Find the Space. An outside circumstance can drive you into a feeling, or you can choose the space in between the circumstance and feeling. Here’s what I mean: say your boss just told you the company is making cuts, and you no longer have a job. Most people hear that news (the circumstance) and immediately dive into feelings (hurt, fear, betrayal). But there is a space after that news and before the feelings, where a thought or belief appears.
  • 3. Make a Choice. The space in between the circumstance and feeling is where your inner power lies. This is where you choose what to think about the circumstance. Just learned you were laid off? Pause and notice. Find the space. What if you choose to have faith that everything is happening for your highest good? What feelings arise from choosing that belief?

Can you feel the difference?

It’s night and day. And that is why working on your mindset is not a “would-be-nice” luxury. It is essential. It is the command center of every experience you have — from spilling your coffee to living through a global pandemic.

Ninety-nine percent of people on this earth do not understand this fundamental lesson that you are your problem… and your solution. Most people are completely derailed by a spilled coffee, especially if they’re running late/heading into an important meeting/already having a bad day. Sound familiar?


We are living through a massive, world-wide example of a circumstance we can’t control right now. But when this is over — and it will be over — you will either have spent this time treading water or you will be swimming miles ahead, making unstoppable progress and impact. The same is true for any adverse uncertain circumstance: divorce, layoffs, loss, you name it. 

Every one of these external circumstances is the most beautiful, calligraphed invitation to you.

This is where the work gets real. This is where the fun begins.

It’s easy to stand in the reality of your power when you’re generating multiple six figures or managing a team of A-players. Not so much when uncontrollable circumstances sideswipe you, right? 

That’s why the inner mindset work of Mind Magic™ is more critically important now than ever.

Because the bottom line is this: only you determine whether you are a victim of external circumstances. 

Now, I know I’m not the first person to tell you that mindset is everything.

But have you noticed people say that, without telling you how?

It’s time to change that. 

And that is exactly what you will learn how to do in my ten week live group program, Mind Magic™.

It’s time to become the observer of yourself and use your mind for its actual intended purpose: to make magic. It’s time to master the HOW of mindset work. 

Why? Because it’s time to LEAD, to say what’s truly in your heart, and to show up as your highest, most brilliant, unapologetic self. 

Because YOU have the power over how you experience your life. You have the power to choose who you want to be and what you want to create. You have the power to make the massive impact you were born to make. You are more powerful than anything else, period. 

And when you choose from that place of power, unprecedented levels of energy, success, and joy will come to you. 

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